In my Turkish time i wanted to smile to lots of people, cause i was smiling back.As you'll have to know now: i've been at my country house in the village called Dor. As i said i went for a meditation, so it really happened. This are main things i did there: reading, working out, washing the dishes, cycling, listening to music, watching the sky, the sun and thinking, thinking, thinking, lots of thinking. Occasionally i was writing down what i came to during thinking. So here's for you a report of my vacation meditation
08/08/10 23:30
So as i arrived, things are unpacked. Everybody, except me, here are smoking, so i have to come out with them. It's cool here, but this is not Turkey. The weather is great for swimming, so anybody who dislikes this may go to hell. And i pray all the gods wherever they are: this +40 heat should long as much as possible. Though Moscow's burning and smells like hell itself, i like +40 degrees.
There's no internet, so i'm gonna post whatever i wright here, when i get home. Today i'm in the mood of writing.
09/08/10 23:00
So today i fell off the stairs. That was hurtful, so i hardly can walk
Tonight i saw the dream, that Huseyin came to visit me at home. That was really nice to wake up.:)
I miss Turkey like hell!!!
Really, for every situation that takes place i have a turkish example. That's sad i can't be there now. There everything is good in a different way, than in Russia.
I think of you, guys, quite often
10/08/10
The list of the things i really want now:
Be with you
Beer Miller
Coca Cola
Be in Turkey
Never to feel physical pain
heat never ends
+17 degrees in winter
ice cream
Truth should never be hurtful
Turkish flag tatoo on my arm
pierced something
get rid of all the fat i've got
a lot of lj friends
massage
kiss
11/08/10 00:40
Being poetic... Telling truth
When you're on vacation life seems new to you. It is new. But when you leave the place, your life kinda stops. But lives of people whom you met there still goes in the same way. That's wacky and sad at the same time. I don't want them living their lives without me.
And another thing: I've just read "The little prince" once again. It reminded me, that i have my own constellation. I've picked it a couple years ago. It was august 2008 or 2006. So every august here this constellation is on the same place. It looks like that:
*
> *
* *
> *
So if you'll see it in the sky - think of me for a while and smile to the sparkling sky. I would die for that. And if somebody sees you smiling for no reason (as they think) they probably will think you're an idiot. that's ok
The more time I spend in this world, the less is left. I can't stand it. Most people look like their age, but i don't feel like i'm gonna be 22. Noone feels that.
I thought i wasn't in the mood of writing, but lots of thoughts just pop into my head. If i won't be able to anounce them, my head's gonna explode.
Old people do not have any new stories to tell, otherwise we'll have to listen to how they went to a hospital, a post-office, bank, etc. So we'll keep listening to the stories that we stated clear. In some way they are warm and very nice to hear things. But that's kinda sad, that there are no good memories of oldness, except children's new stories. Those are not so precious to hear, than those memoriesand stories that took place about 50-60 years ago.
Look, I don't wanna be old and go to the hospitals and clinics
every single day in order to die slower. Just shoot me when i'm insane and breaking apart, ok? And than i want you to dispel my dust over the sea. Aegean Sea, please. I haven't seen another one yet. As it was the first one, do it to commemorate my first happiness abroad. Do this for me!!!
The Beatles said that love is a sunshine. The sun is shining on me now. The real sun. If i'll start praying - i'll pray to the sun!
12/08/10 21:41
So as dust has cleared, now it feels like august. It smells like august, i have to wear hoodies in the evening and i have to wear long jeans as well. And it means that autumn is coming slowly, killing summer, my dearly beloved summer.
today tv is on. we're watching shitty channel Russia 1. Russian tv shows are disgusting. If you have no idea of acting, you must be featured in those shows next to other crappy russian actors.
Now i decided that would have been great to be born and live in England. Its so close to Kaiser Chiefs, and i do not mention Abbey Road Studio. Its very very close to Scotland with their smashing my head Franz Ferdinand. And the killers come there more often than to Russia. But what's the most important: i would've known English language perfectly. And the British accent... But i'm russian. Russia is not the church but a bunch of rocks which could've been a beautiful building (That's my interpretation of Antoine's de Saint Exsuperry "Land of man" - a small part)
Today i've been laughing for a while for no reason. That's solitude, right? Cause here, at Dor there are me, dad, aunt, grandpa. There's not much to talk to them about. Mostly i don't have a chance to talk to them, cause i feel they won't listen me up to the end, even if i was screaming.
they don't really seem to understand me. Yesterday i was listening to kirpichi after the killers' Hotel California. My aunt came to my room and asked me like what the bullshit i'm listening to. She told that previous song was way much better. All i had to say to her: Oh, really?
Now i think that all songs are different, they are not good or bad, cause its too selfish to think only of yourself, me, me, me, my opinion. I wanna respect everyone's opinion. Thanks to Antoine. Though, being passionate when talking of something is really good to.
Anyway, i wanted to say, that being among lots of good different people is much better, than being all alone with your thoughts and feelings. In my Turkish time i wanted to smile to lots of people, cause i was smiling back. But in fuckin Russia, when i look at people, i'd rather shoot them, than smile (of cource there's always an exception). And if i start smoling, they think i'm stupid and crazy.
But still, i try to love people.
I love you, personally :)
15/08/10 18:30
Tremendous bullshit takes place everywhere. We came to the real nature on vacation. So my relatives sit at home and watch fuckin TV-set. There's only one channel, so there's a nonstop bullshit flowing into my ears. When i got angry enough i deciced to turn off the volume. So i became #1 enemy of my aunt for a while. What's the point of coming here, if you sit at home most of time starring the TV-set or playing computer games (like my 28 year old brother).
Now i'm going to say, that my brother is dating with a stupid girl, born in 1991. Can you imagine that? (this is gonna be my first thinking of her. i may be wrong) My family guys listen to her quite more often, than to me. I suppose Ann sees her life mostly in cooking, cleaning, raising children and fucking, of course. She doesn't read books and speaks using words of people who surround her. There are no words of her own. Her opinion is such a cliche. But i have to treat her better, than i would've if i met her in my persnal life. But i can't lie to myself.
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110 TF-82 ... 2002 11
Семья как
важнейший социальный институт
Введение В последние время значительно возросло внимание к проблемам брака и семьи. Мы хотим знать, что происходит в семье и почему так часты разводы, отчего семья всё чаще ограничивается одним ребенком, в силу каких причин множество мужчин и женщин, испытывающих потребность в любви и заботе, стремящихся отдать своё тепло близкому человеку, остаются одинокими.
Meizu готова выпустить планшетный компьютер, многим напомнивший Apple IPad
